He goes out to buya carrot and some petroleum jelly. He's always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. At that age, this friend's a little sex maniac. Stimulate the prostategland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. So listen as fast as you can.Ī friend of mine, when he was 13 years old he heardabout "pegging." This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. Pitt police were on hand to help, presumably tipped about the likelihood of it happening.Take in as much air as you can. “He’s like the new generation’s Kurt Vonnegut,” said Jared Kistler, a sophomore who made the hike from Duquesne University to hear the reading, adding that Palahniuk’s unique blend of dark humor, social consciousness and unabashed raunchiness makes him a popular author among today’s youth.Īnd the mood quickly changed from giddy excitement to collective shock, as Palahniuk launched into the unpublished short story “Guts.” As he read his tale of masturbation, intestines and pool filters (use your imagination) in an unwavering voice, audience members groaned, squirmed and laughed nervously at the subject matter.Īt least four people fainted. As 8:30 neared, late-comers secured standing positions along the walls of the auditorium, or sat cross-legged at the foot of the stage. At the same time, eager fans began saving seats a half hour before the reading. Before the reading, lines for his autograph snaked around the 7th floor lobby of Alumni Hall, causing a 30-minute wait for the devoted. Palahniuk, whose novel “Fight Club” sparked the Hollywood film of the same name while gaining him critical acclaim and a cult following, was received with a welcome that Britney Spears would have found impressive.
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